Skip Hopkins, your portraits are totally 100% wow-worthy.  The end.  Sure, Erin + Adam are a gorgeous couple (no, seriously, a lovely, gorgeous couple), but these post-ceremony shots of the newlyweds are just stunning.  I’m going to channel Emily for a minute and point out the understated centerpieces (arranged by the bride herself, no less), the too-cute “bride” and “groom” chair signs and pretty grey and white cake from Signature Cakes by Vicki.  For more to die for images from Erin + Adam’s Tennessee celebration, visit Skip’s original blog post here. 

Describe your wedding cake: Our wedding cake was a three-tiered grey cake with white lace floral appliqué.
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? Definitely walking down the aisle. It was a big moment. Having my dad give me away, seeing my husband-to-be waiting at the end for me and, of course, the musician Adam hired as a surprise to sing my favorite Rufus Wainwright song! It was something I’ll never forget for as long as I live!
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? We did! My romantic husband planned a picnic on Valentines Day in the garden where we would be married six months later. We had our picnic and wrote our vows. The thing I loved most about our vows was that they were so real. Most traditional vows promise to love, honor and cherish, which is very sweet and a lovely promise, but what about the times when you are not loving? What about the times were you are struggling or have heartache? We vowed to love each other even when the other is cranky or not able to love back.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? Since the wedding I quit my full-time job and am enjoying working part-time designing wedding invitations, stationery and, most recently, interior design, and am just loving it. Adam is still working in medical sales. Outside of work, we’ve been traveling and spending time with our amazing friends and family and our puppy. We are incredibly blessed and really enjoy living life together!

Congratulations, Erin + Adam!  Love and hugs from your friends at Southern Weddings!

Okay Erin, from one bride to another: your lace-embellished Melissa Sweet gown (“Fern,” for all you need-to-know brides!) has been one of my all-time favorite dresses since – like – forever.  And, girl, you are rocking that dress and veil!  SW favorite Skip Hopkins photographed the couple’s nuptials at the Carnton Plantation in Franklin, Tennessee.  The groom looks like he stepped right out of a fashion shoot in his silk neckerchief and feather-embellished boutonnière, and I’m loving the father of the bride’s low-key Southern look.  They’re all so darn good-looking, in fact, that I’m still not convinced this a real wedding, though Emily promises me it is.  Check back soon for more details from the reception!

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. Adam and I met at a non-profit charity event for diabetes in Nashville the third week I moved to Nashville.
Describe the proposal. Adam took me to the hotel where we met for Christmas dinner. After dinner we wanted to walk around the hotel and reminisce about the night that we met. I especially wanted to see the rooftop again since the view is amazing and as it was where we shared our first dance. When we got up to the roof, there was a table with roses, candles, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries…. I knew something was up. Adam got down on one knee and asked me to spend my life with him.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: The gorgeous setting. There is nothing like it. The garden was so beautiful!
Tell us about finding your wedding dress: Being in the wedding industry for so long, I always knew exactly what I wanted. Finding that in Nashville was another thing entirely! I had a photo on my desktop of Melissa Sweet’s “Fern.”  It was the perfect dress!  After a bit of hunting around the internet, I found that a local Nashville boutique carried the line. It was meant to be!
Describe your wedding flowers: We used beautiful white ranunculus, gorgeous mums, large garden roses and peonies and green berries.

Some of you may be aware that Bridal Market went down in NYC a few weeks ago.  (For those of you who aren’t aware, Bridal Market is when designers debut their latest lines!)  Lucky for us Southern gals, the ladies of Tre Bella are bringing a little of the fashion fabulousness to North Carolina!  They’re hosting a fashion show at the gorgeous, brand-brand-brand new NC Museum of Art next Thursday, May 6.

The event begins at 6:30, with mixing and mingling, hors d’oeuvres, and a signature drink until the runway show starts at 8pm.  Couture gowns by LOTS of SW favorites will be featured, including Melissa Sweet, Junko Yoshioka, Priscilla of Boston, and Lela Rose!

Attendees will scoop a fabulous swag bag, which might include a little something from your favorite Southern magazine editors… just sayin’.

You’ll also have the chance to enter a raffle for a fabulous Manuel Mota gown (the Salisbury, in fact), as well as an awesome overnight package at the O Henry Hotel in Greensboro and a series of dinner-for-two gift certificates around the Triangle.  Proceeds go to Dress for Success, an entirely worthy cause.

Last but certainly not least, Carol Hannah Whitfield of season six Project Runway fame (any other fans out there?!) will be on hand to send her latest bridal collection down the runway.  This is a major coup, as Carol has been receiving tons of press lately for her designs, and just recently debuted her line at Bridal Market!  Carol will also be hosting a trunk show at Tre Bella on May 7 and 8, so if you love her designs, make sure to book an appointment ASAP!

Tickets are $25 and available for purchase here.  I’m planning to attend — hope to see you there!

I think we’d all agree March was a very therapeutic month.  The days got longer, the sun shone a little brighter and – oh, yeah – Katie Brown settled the age-old dispute of you vs. them.  Of course I’m talking about your in-laws, in case you didn’t know.  

Apparently, there’s only one thing that’s (maybe) more difficult than your future in-laws – managing money – and Miz Brown seems to have a pretty good handle on that, as well.  (Seriously: is there anything in the realm of matrimonial bliss – or wedded unbliss – this woman doesn’t know or can’t solve?) 

According to the Southern Weddings relationship guru, just talking about how you and your other half will handle the family finances means you’re already well on your way to a life in the black.  She’s got more advice – natch – so keep on reading.  And, as always, don’t forget to hop on over to Katie’s own blog, Confessions of a Young Married Couple, for some more one-on-one time with the woman I like to think of as my personal therapist.  (She’s a whole lot cheaper, too!)

How did you go about combining your bank accounts and finances when you first got married?  Was that a struggle in your relationship?

Money is a struggle whether you are a sixteen-year-old babysitter managing your cash flow or you are a 65-year-old retiree trying to plan for a casino vacation.  And no matter what end of the spectrum you find yourself, the first thing to remember about money is that you can’t take it personally.

I know, I know.  It’s your money.  Of COURSE its personal.  And I’m not saying that it isn’t personal.  I’m just saying you can’t take it personally.  Having the discussion (and subsequent discussions throughout the rest of your marriage) about money is already hard, but it helps to talk about it as if the two of you are starting a small business.  And you sort of are.  Operating a family budget makes you the CFO of your own company, your own little empire.  And you can’t be a good CFO if you take every discussion about money personally.

When Chris and I got married, we had been dating for six years.  We had grown up together.  I knew where he kept his toenail clippers and what he put on his hamburger, but I knew nothing about his finances.  I knew that, like most of us, he had struggled to get through college.  Money had been tight and his family hadn’t been able to help as much as they wanted.  But I never asked where he got all his money.  For all I knew, he was running an underground gambling ring in his basement at night. 

Turns out, it was worse.

Chris made up the difference between what his parents could provide, what cash he could make and what he needed to live by charging everything to his credit cards.  When we finally sat down to talk about our finances about two months before our wedding, I almost fainted.

I was fortunate that my parents had been able to put me through school.  I had a steady job through college that paid for my spending and gas, but my parents really took care of everything else. 

(Go ahead and hate me.  I’ll wait.) 

What that meant was that I brought no debt into my marriage.  But I also brought very little understanding of budgeting either.  I had never really had to budget much before.  My mom is in banking and she made sure I knew how to handle money, but I always knew that my parents were there as my security blanket, so the budgeting part of her lectures went in one ear and out the other. 

One afternoon, Chris and I talked about our money.  We laid out all of our (well, his) debt and all of our income and cash.  For our marriage, we decided it would be best to pool our money into one checking and one savings account for us to share.  With Chris getting ready to enter graduate school and my income soon becoming our sole income, it just made more sense that it should all come from one place.  So, we opened our two little accounts, put all our money into them, and together we talked about how we were going to get rid of Chris’ credit card debt ,which, at the time, was around $7,000. 

We set our financial priorities, and eliminating credit card debt before we moved across the country to Connecticut in six months was the first on our list.  So, we did what we had to do.  We moved into Chris’ dad’s house for the summer and we both got summer jobs.  We put every single penny we made towards credit card payments. 

Chris started graduate school in September, and by August we had paid off everything he owed on his credit cards. 

What I learned through those first months of marriage and managing money with Chris was that just because I was the one who came into the relationship with fewer financial problems didn’t mean that I got to make all the decisions.  It didn’t even mean that I was the most qualified to make all the decisions.  Chris had lived on a budget all through college and that was something he would eventually teach me how to do in our marriage.  And where Chris had mismanaged his money and made poor decisions in his budgeting, I was able to teach him the lessons I had learned from my parents about saving and investing. 

The important thing to remember when you’re handling money as a couple is that one of you isn’t right and one of you isn’t wrong.  You’re a small business now, remember?  And like any small business, you will each bring valid ideas and concepts to your relationship as well as to your financials.  But you have to be open to listening and discussing those concepts first. 

A lot of couples shy away from discussions about money altogether – either because they don’t know how to have the conversation or because they are ashamed of their financial history.

Let me tell you.  It needs to be discussed.  Whether you are sharing money or not, your financial status is part of your marriage and should be discussed.  So, as hard as that conversation will be for some people, you have to just sit down and do it.  There were a few things I found during our first talk about money that really helped us have an open conversation:

1.  Don’t go too far into your partner’s financial history.  I found that what made that initial conversation easier for Chris and me was to not give too much history.  I didn’t want to know why there was a charge for $2,000 at Best Buy on his credit card.   Start fresh with your marriage.  Don’t waste the time and energy focusing on past issues that can’t be changed.  Instead, focus on how you want your financial future to be established. 

2.  Establish financial priorities from Day One.  When Chris and I first talked about our money, we started the conversation by talking about where we wanted to be in 20 years.  What kind of lifestyle did we want?  Where did we want our careers to be?  What would our family values be?  By working backwards from that shared end-goal, we were able to identify the priorities we would need to have in order to achieve that 20-year plan.  But realize that you should have a discussion and re-evaluation of your financial goals at least once, if not twice, a year.  Money is fluid, and so should your financial plan.

3.  Be kind.  This is the one I struggle with the most.  Sometimes, we get so comfortable talking with our partners that we let down our hair a little.  We’re a little more to-the-point, a little more direct, a little more unfiltered.  And that actually is a wonderful thing in a relationship.  You should always be able to talk openly and honestly about things in your marriage.  But remember that when you are talking about money, and especially about someone’s financial history, you need to be kind.  This isn’t the conversation where you can chastise or belittle or judge.  You can do those things later when your husband chooses to come home with a $300 beer light that he wants to put up in your living room.  (That, sadly, is a true story for me, by the way…)  When you’re talking about your personal finances, though, be nice.  Be respectful.  Remember that you are a small business and try to use that to guide your discussions. 

In your marriage, you will experience so many times when you will have to take two heads and form one path.  But nowhere is this more important than in your discussions about money.   With honesty and respect and maybe a couple bottles glasses of wine, your financial plan can be the next great step forward in your relationship.

Love Katie as much as we do?  Want to see more pictures of her handsome hubby and cutie-pie baby?  Visit Confessions of a Young Married Couple for your daily dose of sanity!

You know what we really like about Brooke + Steve’s purple color palette?  Rather than being full on jewel-tone purple (which, I must admit, I really love!), everything – from the escort cards to the centerpieces and the flower-topped Publix cake – is tinged a soft shade of lilac.  It’s romantic, sophisticated and just a tad vintage.  And there’s my spiel on wedding colors for the day!  For more from Brooke + Steve’s Southern celebration, visit Smitten Photos’ own blog posts here and here!

Describe your wedding flowers: My mother grows the most amazing lavender roses.  My whole color scheme was based on those roses!  The roses we ended up using for the wedding with weren’t as full as her garden roses, but overall I was really happy. We had two different styles of flowers for the reception and ceremony. For the ceremony, we did simple full arrangements of white and green flowers. For the reception we chose unique flowers and vessels for each table. Describe your wedding cake: This might have been the hardest part of the whole process for me. We met with so many cake designers. Everyone was really creative, but we were on a tight budget. Steve said Publix from the very beginning, but I had a specific idea of what I wanted. Steve’s only request was no fondant. After lots of looking, I finally stopped by Publix and customized exactly what we wanted. I really loved the contrast of the white and purple roses, but my favorite part was the birds on top. Our cake topper was two birds hot glued to a stick that I had customized to look like a bride and groom with some black felt and lace trim from the fabric store.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? I am really lucky to have a very creative family. My parents, my step-mom and I all had very different opinions about what we wanted the day to be like, so the first thing I had to learn how to do was to make sure everyone felt they were equally a part of the wedding. I also had to figure out how to voice our view for what we wanted our wedding to be like without making it seem like we were picking sides. It was difficult in the beginning, but things magically resolved themselves as the date got closer!
Did you write your own vows?  If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? We didn’t write our vows, but I did use www.myweddingvows.com as a resource for things we liked and things we didn’t. We worked really hard to piece together a ceremony that reflected us the most.
What’s next for you as a couple?  What are you looking forward to in the future? We are really young to be married, but we have our whole lives ahead of us. That means we have a lot of flexibility to figure that out. I know there will be a big move in the future for us, hopefully back South. I’m ready for some good sweet tea, tons of sunshine and that Southern hospitality you don’t really find as much in Louisville. I know Steve eventually wants to have his own dental practice.  As for me, I know I will be doing something creative, hopefully something to do with interior design. All I can say that if the future is anything like putting this wedding together and half as fun as we had that night, we are going to be a very lucky couple.

Congratulations, Brooke + Steve!  Good luck with all the exciting things on your horizon!