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Hi friends! Last time on Southern Etiquette we went over a few key maid of honor responsibilities. Check out the comment section — you guys had some great suggestions as to how a maid can not only fulfill her basic duties, but go above and beyond. Y’all are sweet!
This week I have a funny little question for you. It seems like such a small thing in the grand scheme of a wedding, but I’m wondering how you feel. It’s about clapping at the end of a wedding ceremony, as the recessional music swells and the bride and groom kiss, then trot back up the aisle in wedded bliss. Do you do it? Do you not do it?
Image by Kate Murphy. See more from this sweet wedding on Once Wed here!
Here’s what Emily Post has to say:
“Religious and secular ceremonies sometimes end with the guests clapping for the couple when the officiant introduces them to the guest assembly. The applause should be initiated by someone who knows the couple’s preference, and the guests should follow that lead. Otherwise, don’t clap.”
I’ve always wanted people to clap at the end of the ceremony. It seems so celebratory! Plus, it seems (to me) kind of awkward to do the big kiss in front of a silent room. Music and clapping to accompany the kiss? So much better! I guess this means I’ll be alerting my friends and family to my wishes. This being said, I would never start the clapping at a wedding where I wasn’t sure how the couple felt.
What do y’all think — do you want clapping at the end of your ceremony? Do you want just music? Are you planning to “seed the audience” to get the reaction you’re hoping for? Let me know!
All header images c/o Millie Holloman
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A, August 17, 2010 1:41 pm reply
I think clapping should be mandatory! It's so weird when the couple is announced, the music plays, and everyone kind of walks out awkwardly. LIke when do we show that we're happy? I feel like clapping marks achievement and celebration!
From a photo standpoint, the pictures of the couple and the attendants recessing are ALWAYS better when the guests are clapping and cheering. When the guests are silent, the bride and groom and attendants walk out with subdued if not stone faced expressions. When everyone claps or cheers, everyone walks out with a big smile on their face! Makes better pictures :-)
If you can't clap and cheer at a wedding, when can you? It's supposed to happy!
kaity, August 17, 2010 2:21 pm reply
DEFINITELY clapping and music! it's such a happy moment!
Ben Finch, August 17, 2010 2:22 pm reply
Good post Emily! I say go for it! It seems appropriate, after all, it is such a wonderful moment & would seem a pity to not be able to express excitement toward the couple. I am frequently asked by brides on their wedding day, "should I smile for this picture?" I always respond, "It's your wedding day, of course you should!!"
Stacy Reeves, August 17, 2010 2:22 pm reply
Definitely clap. Every bride deserves to be applauded :)
Grace, August 17, 2010 2:43 pm reply
I come from a religious background and all the weddings I ever attended ended with cheers, whistles and applause (a standing ovation, really) from the moment the couple kisses til the entire bridal party has walked back down the aisle. I've never seen it done any other way and I really enjoy the celebratory mood it evokes-- essentially an overflow of love and affirmation for the marriage that took place. I guess I'm fortunate that my friends and family all will do this without me having to hint at my preference at all.
Little Miss Wonderful, August 17, 2010 2:53 pm reply
For a more casual ceremony, it's fine. However I wanted a more formal feel and our ceremony was in a formal church setting, so to avoid the applause, I instructed the organist to hit it BIG - immediately after the priest said, "I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful" - We also had the groomsmen "bow-out" the pews, after the wedding party and mothers had recessed, therefore not leaving anyone standing around. When we entered the reception - THAT was the time for cheering and applause. . . thank you very much.
Lynn, August 17, 2010 2:57 pm reply
Such a funny question, but I would have never have though of it except for what happened at my wedding. I had a rough morning of my wedding day (crazy weather, crazy vendors), but I was so shocked when my dad and I headed towards the aisle, ALL my guest stood up and started clapping like crazy as I walked down. It really was shocking and so wonderful and I felt like everyone was celebrating such an amazing day. I started smiling so big! And then the same thing happened after we kissed and did our recessional. Our guests clapped for us and all our bridal party. It really was so wonderful. I don't know who iniated it, but I'm so glad they did!
Emily, August 17, 2010 3:17 pm reply
YES!! I think it would be just awkward to kiss and walk out in silence, well with music of course. But if people aren't clapping, it would have me a bit worried whether they were happy for us or not. :) So at my wedding, I hope there will be a boisterous applause!
Amy, August 17, 2010 7:33 pm reply
I knew I wanted clapping, but I didn't let anyone know that. And in all honesty, I didn't even know that people clapped. I only knew when we got the pictures back and we could see everyone clapping with huge smiles on their face. We chose a really different song to walk out to as well. We had a musical friend play Tom Petty's "Wildflowers" on the acoustic guitar. We had so many compliments about how sweet it was.
Emily, August 17, 2010 7:43 pm reply
Clapping and shouting are a must! It's such a happy moment and people should be excited. On a side note I really hate when I see wedding photos where the congregation is seated as the bride and groom walk out! Am I the only person who thinks that a standing ovation as the bride and groom exit is a necessity?
Little Miss Wonderful, August 17, 2010 10:11 pm reply
Actually, the correct form of etiquette states that the congregation stands when the bride enters the church and remains seated during the recessional. Only performances warrant a "standing ovation" not a ceremony. (Unless not running away counts as a major achievement).
Clapping, stomping, hooting, hollering- whatever the bride wants lends a personal touch. My cousin's wedding actually elicited a few "yee-haa's" and "roll tide's". Alas, it's a do-as-you-please era. Just smile and join in.