We’ve been seeing a lot of all-white bouquets on the blog lately, and Emily + Brian’s florals help prove why we love seeing them again! The clean and sophisticated blooms by Jade Water Designs tied all the elements of their ceremony together perfectly–all the way from the men’s boutonnieres (dapper, indeed!) to the tall vases at the altar. I can’t stop staring at the bridesmaids’ cobalt blue dresses from Jasmine Bridal. They stand out magnificently against the green landscape at Legare Waring House in Charleston and flanking the beautiful bride, make her look radiant. We can’t wait to share Part II with you! A huge thanks to Virgil Bunao for sharing this wedding with us, and a huge hug to Stacey with Red Letter Events for designing such a beautiful celebration!

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. We are both graduates of Virginia Tech, but did not have the pleasure of knowing each other as Hokies. In 2009, life’s events had both led us to Charlotte, North Carolina. I was working at a local hospital, completing my clinical work prior to graduating medical school in the spring, and Brian was working for a technical recruiting company in the city. Mutual friends from Virginia Tech had invited us to play on an intramural flag football team in February. Beers and touchdowns made flirting a breeze, and here we are! We are now living in beautiful Charleston, SC where I am completing her medical residency as a family physician.
Describe the proposal. It was Easter 2010. We had planned to go to church in historic downtown Charleston. Brian seemed preoccupied during the entire service. After church, he asked if I wanted to walk to the Battery and look at all the beautiful blooming azaleas. As we approached the water on the Battery, he produced a beautiful ring from his pocket and I said “yes”.
Three adjectives that describe the day are: Comfortable, Southern, exciting.
Describe your wedding flowers: Romantic, clean, and all white.

Photographer: Virgil Bunao Fine Arts Weddings // Planner: Red Letter Events // Venue: Legare Waring House // Florist: Jade Water Designs // Wedding Cake Baker: The Cake Stand // Caterer: Granville’s // Paper Products: Lindsay Creative // Bride’s Dress: The Gown Boutique // Bride’s Hair Accessories/Veil: The Gown Boutique // Bride’s Shoes: Zappos.com // Bridesmaids’ Dresses: B2 by Jasmine Bridal // Accessories: bride’s and bridesmaids’ own.

It’s not only the season for weddings, but for bridal showers, too, which makes today’s Southern Etiquette question particularly relevant.

Grace wrote:

“To frame my main question, I should first provide some backstory. A friend of mine recently got engaged very unexpectedly, after only knowing her now-fiance for a few months. They sent out their save the dates in early April for a Labor Day weekend wedding. Mid-May comes, and I receive a mass text message informing me that they will instead be doing a family-only beach ceremony in July, due to cost and her father’s unexpected unemployment a year prior. Supposedly there were plans in the works to mail out some sort of an update on the family-only decision, but nothing has been mailed yet.

No big deal, but then the buzz starts to circulate that “family only” also includes a few friends from college and sorority.

This past weekend, I opened the mailbox to find an invitation to a bridal shower for her, about two weeks before the “family-only” beach wedding in July. My question to you is whether it’s appropriate (or best Southern etiquette practice) to invite people to a shower for a wedding they are not invited to attend. Essentially, opting for a smaller, cost-effective wedding says, “I can’t afford/choose not to pay for you to be a guest at our wedding,” and my understanding of wedding etiquette is that if someone is not a wedding guest, they should not be a shower invitee also. I, along with a few others, feel that it’s sending a message of “I’m not inviting you to my wedding, but please shower me anyway.”

I have gone back and forth with whether or not I should/want to attend her upcoming shower, and I really am stuck. As a friend and former wedding/potential shower guest, I find it hurtful to have learned that non-family guests have been invited to their “family-only” wedding, and I do not feel that inviting non-guests to a shower is a best bride practice.

Am I being petty? Would you go? Deep down, I do want happiness and love for her marriage, but I feel that making the decision to have a cost-effective, exclusive wedding comes with the understanding that most likely there will not be the traditional string of showers given.”

A happy couple, shot by Phindy Studios :)

GREAT question, Grace! Often in etiquette I feel like there’s some gray area, but in this case, I came down firmly on one side — and I’m guessing most of our readers will, too. To confirm my suspicions, I checked with Emily Post:

“Who is invited to a shower? Normally, anyone invited to a shower should be invited to the wedding. The one exception is a workplace shower to which a large number of coworkers contribute. Showers are intimate gatherings for people you know very well– not excuses to haul in more gifts.”

If you are not invited to the wedding, you should not be invited to the shower. If the bride is having an intimate wedding, she should have an intimate shower — or none at all. That might sound harsh, but in my opinion, it’s the only way to do things in good taste. If kind friends or relatives would like to give a gift when they hear the good news, regardless of their invitation status, that is their prerogative and certainly fine.

Now in Grace’s case, since the bride has already issued the invitation for the shower, it is now up to Grace and the other non-wedding guests whether they choose to a) attend or b) bring or send a gift.

Grace specifically asked what I would do, so here you go: If the shower were local, I would attend and bring a lovely, handwritten card expressing my best wishes for the couple. I would not bring a gift. If the shower were not local, I would not attend, but would still send a handwritten card.

Readers, I would love to hear your thoughts! Would YOU attend? Would you bring a gift? Am I being too black-and-white, or is this an issue where there is clearly an etiquette precedent for a reason? Let me know what you think!

As always, if you would like to submit your own etiquette query, just shoot me an email!

If you liked this post, you might want to check out past etiquette columns:
Bridesmaid Responsibilities
Tuxedos with Navy Dresses?
Who Gets a Save the Date?

Beautiful scenery and fresh colors and details make Katie + Charlie’s wedding stand out as sophisticated and refined among super-glamorous or super-themed beach weddings. White flowers from The Perfect Settings, a white cake topped with roses and baby’s breath by Thompson Cakes and a fantastic venue (including a porch overlooking the water!) at Limefish made me want to jump into these pictures by Clary Photo so I could party with the newlyweds. Katie + Charlie even had their first dance overlooking the sunset–can it get any better than that?

See all the photos from Katie + Charlie’s wedding in their Real Wedding Gallery!

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? Good Southern food! We served chicken New Orleans, garlic mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Our signature drink was a mojito served with a green and white paper straw. Other details included mason jars that were used as flower vases and candle votives, country music, DIY programs and menu cards, and LOTS of raffia!
Describe your wedding cake: It was an all white, three-tiered round Italian crème cake decorated with lemon leaves and flowers. We displayed it on an antique wood table.
If you are comfortable responding, what range did your wedding budget fall into? $10,000 to $25,000
What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on? The table settings – everything was perfect and just how I imagined.
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? Our first dance overlooking the ocean at sunset and dancing with my dad to “My Girl.”
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? We are looking forward to our big move to Georgia from Chicago where I will begin my first job as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner.

Photographer: Clary Photo // Planner: The Perfect Settings // Ceremony venue: Roser Memorial Community Church // Reception venue: Limefish // Florist: The Perfect Settings // Wedding Cake Baker: Thompson Cakes // Caterer: Simply Gourmet // Paper Products: With Grace // Bride’s Dress: Candice’s Bridal // Bride’s Hair Accessories/Veil: Candice’s Bridal // Bride’s Shoes: Kelly & Katie // Bridesmaids’ Dresses: Bella Bridesmaid // Accessories: La Mariee // Hair and Makeup: Ana Molinari Salon

High school sweethearts Katie + Charlie played up their beach wedding with white and green accents and lots of raffia! Even grandpa dressed the part in a fresh green and white seersucker suit! Katie was beautiful and refined in a Candice’s Bridal dress, Kelly & Katie shoes and La Mariee accessories. She chose to wrap her bouquet with a piece of her mother’s veil, opting for a new birdcage veil for her own wedding day , which I think is the perfect way to incorporate tradition into a wedding without sacrificing your own style. Clary Photo did a wonderful job capturing the calm and cool ceremony at Roser Memorial Community Church. Come back for Part II to see more!

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. We were high school sweethearts.
Describe the proposal. It was on a fall Saturday morning in Central Park. It included a surprise photographer who captured the proposal.
Three adjectives that describe the day are: White, green, rustic.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: We had baskets filled with flowers that were used as decorations at the reception site.
Tell us about finding your wedding dress: I was lucky enough to be able to shop along with my mom and sister for my dress. It was very special because my sister is also engaged, so we tried on dresses together!
Describe your wedding flowers: We had simple white flowers including tulips, ranunculus, lisianthus, and baby’s breath with green berry accents. My bouquet featured a piece of my mother’s veil that we wrapped around the stems. It was my “something old”. The bridesmaids’ bouquets were tied with raffia.

Photographer: Clary Photo // Planner: The Perfect Settings // Ceremony venue: Roser Memorial Community Church // Reception venue: Limefish // Florist: The Perfect Settings // Wedding Cake Baker: Thompson Cakes // Caterer: Simply Gourmet // Paper Products: With Grace // Bride’s Dress: Candice’s Bridal // Bride’s Hair Accessories/Veil: Candice’s Bridal // Bride’s Shoes: Kelly & Katie // Bridesmaids’ Dresses: Bella Bridesmaid // Accessories: La Mariee // Hair and Makeup: Ana Molinari Salon

Why hello, Friday. I’ve missed you so.

It’s been an exciting week for us! We’re still basking in the afterglow of our yard sale’s success. We seriously loved meeting all of you who came out and we can’t wait to do something else together soon! Amid our blossoming friendships and get-together brainstorming, we did actually manage to squeeze out some awesome posts. Want a recap? You came to the right place.

We’re looking for some ladies who like to have their hair and makeup done, dress up in pretty frocks and have their picture taken. Oh, that’s you? How lucky! We had such a fun time in Charleston with our reader models, that we’re doing it again! We need you to be models in our next V4 shoot! If you’re free on Tuesday, June 28 for a photo shoot in Williamsburg, send a headshot and a few candids to howdy at iloveswmag.com.

We needed your help this week and asked for your expert advice on engagement rings. Yet-to-be-engaged, engaged, or married–we know you’ve got opinions and we need some guidance! (Especially Emily. Her spidey sense is telling her a ring is on it’s way!! Can you tell how excited we are?) Go to the original post and pour your heart out! We’re taking notes.

Remember that yard sale? The one where we raised $1,489 for Stop Hunger Now and Southern tornado victims? It was awesome!! We had so much fun meeting all of you. Sierra walked us through the day and shared some reader photos! We also want to give you the chance to tell us what you’d like to do next. Go to the original post and let us know!

What could be better than winning a clutch or a bow tie? How about winning both? And they match! Oatmeal Lace and Collard Greens have partnered up to make you the cutest couple at the square dance. Head over to the original post to see just how cute these accessories are and to find out how to win.

June’s Southern Bride of the Month, Alison shared her sweet engagement story, wedding planning details and advice. We loved hearing about the process from her, and I loved her unique and sentimental save the dates! Head over to the post to read more about her big day!

We’re tossin’ up another giveaway! This one might make you a little teary-eyed, so grab a hankie and be prepared. It’s a good one, though. In honor of Father’s Day, tell us what you are doing on your big day to honor that special dad, step-dad, uncle, big bro or honorary gentleman that you love so dearly. The winner will get a copy of one of our favorite movies, Father of the Bride.

After meeting some of you on Friday, we couldn’t help but think that we should get to know each other a little better! This week, we introduced our “Sit a Spell with Us” series so that we can do just that. If you’d like, sit a spell with me. I’d love to hear if we have anything in common!

Sierra helped us recall Hannah + Chas’ intimate wedding in this week’s Real Weddings Gallery. We love the handmade feel and country dances!

We had some lovely Real Weddings:

Towne + Andy showed us “easy, boundless happiness” with their colorful Savannah wedding. I’m now seriously considering a ribbon installation in my house because of these two! See the happy couple here and here.

Lane + Dan had a wedding with tons of sentimental value! Their succulent-filled front porch wedding had us fawning over the details. See it here and here.

And now a photo to start your weekend:

I love this shot from Bobbi and Mike–the couple, ridiculously happy in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by their family and friends. That’s what it’s all about.