We’re working like busy little bees over here on our next (and gorgeous, might I brag!) edition of Southern Weddings! And, well, we need your help!

As you know, the true meaning of weddings is so important to us – so important, that we’re fixing to include the Sweet Tea Society manifesto right in our glossy, so even brides who pick up a copy off the newsstand can get in on the fun!

But here’s where y’all come in. You know what we believe, but now, we want to know what YOU believe. I may be partial to the part about magnolias and monograms, but doesn’t this make your heart light up like fireflies in a mason jar on a hot summer night? Whether it’s naming your future baby after your grandmother’s maiden name, or going the extra mile to make someone feel special, we want to know what you believe in.

Comment below and tell us! We’ll sprinkle our favorite answers throughout the next issue, so please only comment if it’s okay for us to include your quote, plus your first name, last initial, and hometown in print. We’d love to have you join us!

P.S. Haven’t gotten your Sweet Tea Society badge yet? Why, you can download one right here!

Welcome back to the Emily Plans a Wedding series! Thank you so much for your thoughts on my last ceremony post – I loved reading through all of the comments! As promised, I’m back with a few more details about our wedding ceremony.

I think music is hugely important at wedding ceremonies, so John and I have had fun discussing which selections we might use! We haven’t come to too many final decisions yet, but I’m happy to share where we are in the process. Let’s run down the list from beginning to end, shall we?

Both images by Picotte Weddings

We’ll kick off our late-afternoon ceremony with prelude music from a string trio. I’m so excited about this, as I adore the sound of strings! I would have loved to hire a quartet, but a trio fit more neatly into our budget. One quick tip: Lots of wedding resources recommend hiring musicians from a music school, but for us, this would have been a more expensive option than the route we ended up taking (hiring professional musicians from the Coast Guard band). It might work out for you, but make sure to do your research! I believe our trio will be made up of two violins and one cello.

For parts of the ceremony the strings will be joined by a piano to lend a little more weight and variety. I’m super excited that my former piano teacher will be our pianist for the day! Rachel was also my high school choral teacher, and I think it will be fun to have one more familiar face greeting us on the big day. We’ll add piano to the strings for the processional, starting with the seating of our families. I think we’ll use Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” for the seating of our families – it’s so beautiful, and for me, those swells mean nothing other than that a wedding is going to take place!!

We’re considering “Morning Has Broken” for my ladies’ entrance – I really love the pace of the Cat Stevens’ version:

For the recessional, I think we’re going to go with “Ode to Joy” – it’s one of my absolute favorite hymns, and both my parents and my older sister and her husband used it for their recessionals.

Here’s the one I’m stuck on – my processional. I want something with good movement and that really makes me feel something, and so far, none of the more traditional options are doing it for me. We have the go-ahead from our pastor to use a secular selection, since the processional isn’t counted as part of the worship service (at least according to him; some pastors might feel differently!). The only problem is that John doesn’t really like my two top contenders! He says he’s happy to use whichever song I like best, but I want something that we both love – after all, it’s both of our moment!

We’ll also have music during the service, and we are so grateful that one of my best friends has agreed to sing for us! Depending on how the rest of our ceremony shapes up, we might have her sing during communion, or possibly as a stand-alone solo. Our top contenders for her are “Set Me as a Seal” and “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” If you haven’t heard the Sufjan Stevens version of “Come Thou Font,” you’re missing out!

Again, depending on how long our ceremony shapes up to run, we’d love to squeeze in a hymn that everyone sings, as well. Pretty much John’s favorite thing to do is sing hymns in church, so it would only be appropriate!

The last music-related question we’re pondering is whether to have a low undercurrent of music from the string trio while we recite our vows. I’m not sure about you, but the right instrumental music layered under words gets me nearly every time – I guess that’s the power of a soundtrack, you know? For example, whenever my church confirms young adults, they always play “Borning Cry” as the pastor moves down the line and the parents lay their hands on their children for the blessing. Oh my word, I cry every time, and I don’t even know any of these kids!!

So pros? It would likely heighten an already emotional moment. Cons? It would likely heighen an already emotional moment :) Also, one of my biggest pet peeves in all of weddings is ceremonies where you can’t hear the vows, so if we went this route, John and I would probably want to be mic’d (or have a handheld mic) so that the congregation could hear our vows over the music. Anyway, just something we’re considering, but I’d love additional thoughts from y’all if this is something anyone has tried!

Beautiful ring bearer bowls from Paloma’s Nest. We won’t have a ring bearer, but our friend Caroline (she and I grew up in the same town!) has kindly gifted us one of her creations! Now to decide what we’d like to put on it… (Photo on left by Jana Morgan and photo on right by A Bryan Photo)

Lastly, I’d love to tell you about our readings! We’ve already chosen our readers – a dear friend with whom we attended both high school AND college, one of the first friends we made as a couple, and one of John’s aunts – but have yet to assign them pieces. We’ll likely use one from the Bible, and we have several under consideration. Here are a few:

Philippians 2:1-5, RSV:
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any incentive of love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my job by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

Colossians 3:12-17, RSV,
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Austin Warnock via Southern Weddings

Romans 12:9-18, RSV:
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Proverbs 3:1-12, ESV:
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom we delights.”

Stephen DeVries via Southern Weddings

There’s also a favorite excerpt of ours from C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity that will likely make the cut. I think this excerpt is interesting in that when I first read it several years ago, I really didn’t like it. Now, seven and a half years into a relationship, I think there is almost nothing more beautiful than this sentiment. Here it is:

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairytale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense-love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

Lastly, since I was an English major with a concentration in poetry, I’d also like to include a more literary reading, but I haven’t come across the perfect one yet. Suggestions are welcome, and I’ll keep on the hunt in the meantime!

Whew! Thank you so much for reading along! Tell me: What readings are you having at your ceremony, if any? I LOVE hearing what readings others are using or have used, so please don’t be shy, and comment away!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters | Where we’re getting married | I go dress shopping | We choose a photographer | I ponder bridesmaid style | Mini food! | The music | We’re renting a tent! | We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres | We send out our save the dates | I gather hair and makeup inspiration | We talk cake and sweets | I introduce you to our videographer | We create a registry | We buy a tuxedo | We style a reception | I choose accessories | We take engagement photos! | We plan our ceremony

Stephen DeVries is a fabulous member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

What is it about farm tables that make us love them so much? I think its the sense of heritage and family. Most farm tables were handmade after all, and then passed down through the generations. I love that Ellie + Breck made the splurge on those tables, cutting down in other places in order to achieve the perfect aesthetic and homey vibe. We also love how E + B showed their appreciation for friends and family who traveled in from all over the globe by packing their wedding weekend full of fun events in order to spend more time together. Big thanks go out to Laura Gordon who shared this lovely wedding with us!

One thing that made our wedding planning tricky was that the wedding was in Southern Virginia. My parents live in DC, we live in Chicago, and I travel every week for work. Planning to meet up with my mom to shop for dresses was very difficult! I scoped things out that I liked online and made a few quick visits to boutiques with friends but I knew that I had to make my selection in a whirlwind day with my mom. She met me at the tail end of a work trip one week, and we were lucky enough to find the dress 12 hours later. Although it could have been stressful, it ended up being a great time and a good excuse for my mom to visit me.

Did you decide to do a “first look”? Why or why not? We did – one of the most important goals for us when wedding planning was to plan a fun weekend for our guests and to find a way to actually spend time with friends and family during the wedding. You hear stories about people saying the wedding went by so fast that they barely saw the people that mean the most to them, and we were determined not to let that happen. Doing a first look was a great way for us to carve out more time to visit during cocktail hour and the reception. And I think it did wonders to calm my slightly nervous groom.
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? We took several ceremonies that our family friend (a judge) had previously used, and we personalized and combined of few of them into one ceremony. If I had to pick a favorite quote it would be this one, “Today, you dedicate yourselves to one another formally. Tomorrow and each tomorrow thereafter, you dedicate yourselves to one another by each act, each word, each thought.”
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? We had “A Marriage” by Mark Twain and “Union” by Robert Fulghum.

I think our favorite details of the wedding was the overall mix of really eclectic, vintage details. We had mismatching flower arrangements, wine in burlap sacks as table markers, antique style card catalogs holding our seating cards, and a vintage map with photos of us during all of our travels as a couple. The mix of all those details was what I loved.

Our wedding colors were blue, grey and yellow. With that in mind, most of our flowers were a mix of hydrangea, ranunculus, garden roses and freesia with accents of dusty miller and wild flowers. I am really against anything too “matchy” so all of our tables had slightly different arrangements with antique-looking jars and vases of all shapes and sizes. It had a very rural, “just picked from our garden and thrown together from a flea market” feel.

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? We’ve both moved around a fair amount, yet we feel at home in Gwynn’s Island. It was important to both of us to hold the wedding there. We really made an effort to include local elements. We had local seafood (crabs, oysters, and clams), corn pudding, locally made cheese, and mint juleps. It was a very Southern meal. Some of our guests from the West Coast tried their first ever soft shell crabs!

What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on? The farm tables and the chandeliers. The wooden farm tables were more expensive than the normal table rentals, but they really added to the rustic aesthetic and they looked great mixed in with the traditional round tables. We also purchased the chandeliers that hung in the tent – otherwise it would have been simple globe lighting. We found a great deal for the chandeliers on Ebay. It was definitely worth the extra time to get the look and feel that we wanted in our tent. I also want to share our biggest non–splurge: the band. Our band, the Blue Tips, was absolutely amazing! They are a young, up-and-coming band in the region. They came in nicely under budget, but you would never have known that from listening to them. It actually sounded like we had found a way for Stevie Wonder to play at our wedding! People could not stop dancing.

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story: We originally met the first semester of college in a history class. I sat in the front row and listened attentively. Breck usually came in late and sat in the back. I was unimpressed, to say the least, by his behavior. Fifteen months later, our paths crossed again at a leadership retreat. We bonded over their mutual boredom at the event and began to get to know each other. I mercifully laughed at Breck’s jokes, and he learned to appreciate my attitude. Over the years, we’ve moved around the country, each chasing the other to a new destination from Texas to Switzerland, Miami to Indiana, and DC to Chicago. If you can make it work across all those locations, you can make it work anywhere.
Describe the proposal: (From the groom) We had planned to spend Memorial Day weekend in Gwynn’s Island, Virginia with our families. Usually Ellie figures me out, but this time she thought it would just be a normal weekend on the Chesapeake Bay. On Saturday morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to speak with Ellie’s parents. After receiving their blessing, I waited all day for the perfect moment. Right before dinner, a giant rainbow appeared in the sky. Sensing the moment was right, I asked Ellie if she wanted to take a walk along the dock. Joined by her pesky dog, we walked to the end of the dock. The proposal was delayed a few minutes as Ellie obliviously chatted with a family friend while I fiddled with the ring in my pocket! Eventually the friend left, and I finally got to pop the question. We returned to the house and enjoyed champagne with everyone. We find it particularly special that we married at the same place where we got engaged.
In what month did you get married? May
How many guests attended your wedding? 150
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding. I walked down the aisle to “What a Wonderful World” and “Here Comes the Sun.” We walked back up the aisle to “Daydream Believer.” We planned our first dance to “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay,” (that is where Breck proposed, after all) and the mother-son/father-daughter dance to “Into the Mystic,” the band at the reception got confused and reversed our songs. It was totally fine though – we just had a good joke and laughed throughout most of our dance.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? I think our biggest planning challenge was logistics. All of us who were planning were spread out across four different states. My family home is also in a very rural location with no nearby hotels. The nearest B&B or hotel was still 30 minutes away! Figuring out busses and transportation for all our guests was very tricky. We could not have done it without Lindsay Averette, our wedding planner.
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? (From the groom) Immediately following the ceremony, our whole wedding party and family had a few minutes of peace and relaxation behind the house after the recessional. The caterers brought us a tray of soft shell crabs and mint juleps – it was the perfect way to breathe and enjoy the fact that we were just married and ready to celebrate. Plus, it gave Ellie an excuse to share with family and friends the embarrassing story of how I once tried to make mint juleps with flour instead of sugar (not recommended).
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? Pick what matters the most to you at the very beginning and then remember to prioritize that through the whole process. For us, it was having a whole weekend of events to spend time with friends and family. We purposefully planned a weekend full of wedding events. There were welcome drinks at my parents’ house Friday night, a cookout on the beach before the wedding, the wedding and reception, and a bluegrass and BBQ party the next day. In the end, I really got to spend time with my friends who had traveled from all over the country and the world to the wedding. Several of them told me the weekend felt like a vacation to them. That was the biggest compliment I could have ever received.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? (From the groom) We are packing up and moving to Connecticut for Ellie to begin business school at Yale. We’re excited about a new adventure and a new city! But before that, we are stopping in Thailand for our honeymoon. That will give us one more travel picture to add to our map.

To me, nothing screams summertime quite like a good barbecue, cookout or picnic. You know everyone else is thinking the same thing when you walk outside and smell charcoal and sizzling burgers. Barbecues are all about taking advantage of the warm weather to gather your friends and family outside for one the most basic acts of community and caring: breaking bread.

Image credits: Row 1: Luxe and Lillies, Oh Darling! via Southern Weddings, The Happy Couple via Brides; Row 2: Gabe Aceves via Southern Weddings, Jonathan Ong via Eat, Drink, Chic; Row 3: (Once Like a Spark) Photography via Every Last Detail, Green Wedding Shoes, Bella Grace Studios via Southern Weddings

Whether you’re planning a casual rehearsal dinner, engagement party or just trying to get some good grub on the table, the basics are the same. Ditch the fancy china and head outdoors — just don’t forget a sunhat and some bug spray!

A. Grab a blanket and pop a squat on the grass. We love this tablecloth for its summery berry pattern, but also because spilled barbecue sauce blends right in!

B. Ain’t nothin’ we love more than an adorable koozie! Keep your hands warm and dry while sporting your monogram.

C. Gingham basket liners are perfect for catching cole slaw drips and corralling hush puppies.

D. Leave the fancy ceramic berry baskets at home. These cute wooden baskets are ideal for passing around strawberries and blueberries.

E. No one wants a fly in their drink! These mason jar sippers keep a top on your drink while sporting a straw for easy hydration in between games of cornhole or frisbee.

F. Pull your hair back (and away from dripping barbecue sauce!) with this fabric headband.

G. A handy kitchen towel goes a long way for the grill master. We like the cheeky reminder on this option.

H. Versatile, biodegradable and fun-sized, these sporks are the only utensil you’ll need for baked beans and strawberry shortcake.

I. Dress up your outdoors a bit with sunny patterned bunting.

J. We know barbecues are finger-lickin’ good, but don’t forget the moist wipes for those extra sticky fingers. Find a site to customize them for extra fun.

K. Y’all know no gathering’s complete without a pie! Bring your mama’s best recipe in this fluted dish.

What are your summer barbecue essentials?

Looking for more Summer in the South? Check out our last post: A Day at the Lake.

When I travel (and I do travel, often!), I always make it a point to try the local delicacies. If the restaurant we’re eating at has a famous dish or drink – that’s what I’m ordering. So you can bet that if I was at The Brown Hotel in Louisville, I’d be ordering the Hot Brown!

I must admit, though, I didn’t know too much about this delicacy before I sat down to write today’s post, and I still have never tried it myself. Who’s in for a Southern Weddings field trip to KY?

Photos from Seven Spoons, One Lovely Life, and MyRecipes.com

I love the story of how the Hot Brown was born, so throw on your longest strand of pearls, your grandmother’s long white gloves and your favorite shade of red lipstick, and let’s head back to the 1920′s! Back then, The Brown Hotel drew over 1,200 guests each evening for its dinner dances (whoa!). Guests, dancing into the wee hours of the morning, would take a break from Charleston-ing and head to the hotel’s restaurant for a bite to eat. According the Brown Hotel, their resident chef, wanting to offer party-goers something besides the standard ham and eggs, devised an open-faced turkey sandwich complete with bacon and Mornay sauce. Voila – the Hot Brown was born!

If you’d like to try your hand at whipping up a Hot Brown, we suggest first heading to the Brown Hotel’s website, which lists the original recipe here. We also found a few fun variations of the recipe, including Hot Brown Cheese Grits and Hot Brown Biscuits. Yum! I think I might need to pop on my seersucker apron and start trying some of these!

For those who are more into aesthetics, we also found this neat version of the Kentucky Hot Brown at Stately Sandwiches. Kelly’s on a mission to make a sandwich for each of the 50 states, and the hot brown was her pick for Kentucky! You can see other states, including Southerners Louisiana, North Carolina, Texas, and Virginia, here!

Image courtesy Stately Sandwiches

Do you have a Kentucky Hot Brown recipe? Have you tried the Hot Brown? Let us know in the comments below!

Still hungry? You will be after you read a few more of our Southern Delicacies!
Sweet Tea
Deviled Eggs
Chicken and Waffles