Welcome back to the Emily Plans a Wedding series! Thank you so much for your thoughts on my last ceremony post – I loved reading through all of the comments! As promised, I’m back with a few more details about our wedding ceremony.

I think music is hugely important at wedding ceremonies, so John and I have had fun discussing which selections we might use! We haven’t come to too many final decisions yet, but I’m happy to share where we are in the process. Let’s run down the list from beginning to end, shall we?

Both images by Picotte Weddings

We’ll kick off our late-afternoon ceremony with prelude music from a string trio. I’m so excited about this, as I adore the sound of strings! I would have loved to hire a quartet, but a trio fit more neatly into our budget. One quick tip: Lots of wedding resources recommend hiring musicians from a music school, but for us, this would have been a more expensive option than the route we ended up taking (hiring professional musicians from the Coast Guard band). It might work out for you, but make sure to do your research! I believe our trio will be made up of two violins and one cello.

For parts of the ceremony the strings will be joined by a piano to lend a little more weight and variety. I’m super excited that my former piano teacher will be our pianist for the day! Rachel was also my high school choral teacher, and I think it will be fun to have one more familiar face greeting us on the big day. We’ll add piano to the strings for the processional, starting with the seating of our families. I think we’ll use Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” for the seating of our families – it’s so beautiful, and for me, those swells mean nothing other than that a wedding is going to take place!!

We’re considering “Morning Has Broken” for my ladies’ entrance – I really love the pace of the Cat Stevens’ version:

For the recessional, I think we’re going to go with “Ode to Joy” – it’s one of my absolute favorite hymns, and both my parents and my older sister and her husband used it for their recessionals.

Here’s the one I’m stuck on – my processional. I want something with good movement and that really makes me feel something, and so far, none of the more traditional options are doing it for me. We have the go-ahead from our pastor to use a secular selection, since the processional isn’t counted as part of the worship service (at least according to him; some pastors might feel differently!). The only problem is that John doesn’t really like my two top contenders! He says he’s happy to use whichever song I like best, but I want something that we both love – after all, it’s both of our moment!

We’ll also have music during the service, and we are so grateful that one of my best friends has agreed to sing for us! Depending on how the rest of our ceremony shapes up, we might have her sing during communion, or possibly as a stand-alone solo. Our top contenders for her are “Set Me as a Seal” and “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” If you haven’t heard the Sufjan Stevens version of “Come Thou Font,” you’re missing out!

Again, depending on how long our ceremony shapes up to run, we’d love to squeeze in a hymn that everyone sings, as well. Pretty much John’s favorite thing to do is sing hymns in church, so it would only be appropriate!

The last music-related question we’re pondering is whether to have a low undercurrent of music from the string trio while we recite our vows. I’m not sure about you, but the right instrumental music layered under words gets me nearly every time – I guess that’s the power of a soundtrack, you know? For example, whenever my church confirms young adults, they always play “Borning Cry” as the pastor moves down the line and the parents lay their hands on their children for the blessing. Oh my word, I cry every time, and I don’t even know any of these kids!!

So pros? It would likely heighten an already emotional moment. Cons? It would likely heighen an already emotional moment :) Also, one of my biggest pet peeves in all of weddings is ceremonies where you can’t hear the vows, so if we went this route, John and I would probably want to be mic’d (or have a handheld mic) so that the congregation could hear our vows over the music. Anyway, just something we’re considering, but I’d love additional thoughts from y’all if this is something anyone has tried!

Beautiful ring bearer bowls from Paloma’s Nest. We won’t have a ring bearer, but our friend Caroline (she and I grew up in the same town!) has kindly gifted us one of her creations! Now to decide what we’d like to put on it… (Photo on left by Jana Morgan and photo on right by A Bryan Photo)

Lastly, I’d love to tell you about our readings! We’ve already chosen our readers – a dear friend with whom we attended both high school AND college, one of the first friends we made as a couple, and one of John’s aunts – but have yet to assign them pieces. We’ll likely use one from the Bible, and we have several under consideration. Here are a few:

Philippians 2:1-5, RSV:
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any incentive of love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my job by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

Colossians 3:12-17, RSV,
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Austin Warnock via Southern Weddings

Romans 12:9-18, RSV:
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Proverbs 3:1-12, ESV:
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom we delights.”

Stephen DeVries via Southern Weddings

There’s also a favorite excerpt of ours from C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity that will likely make the cut. I think this excerpt is interesting in that when I first read it several years ago, I really didn’t like it. Now, seven and a half years into a relationship, I think there is almost nothing more beautiful than this sentiment. Here it is:

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairytale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense-love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

Lastly, since I was an English major with a concentration in poetry, I’d also like to include a more literary reading, but I haven’t come across the perfect one yet. Suggestions are welcome, and I’ll keep on the hunt in the meantime!

Whew! Thank you so much for reading along! Tell me: What readings are you having at your ceremony, if any? I LOVE hearing what readings others are using or have used, so please don’t be shy, and comment away!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters | Where we’re getting married | I go dress shopping | We choose a photographer | I ponder bridesmaid style | Mini food! | The music | We’re renting a tent! | We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres | We send out our save the dates | I gather hair and makeup inspiration | We talk cake and sweets | I introduce you to our videographer | We create a registry | We buy a tuxedo | We style a reception | I choose accessories | We take engagement photos! | We plan our ceremony

Stephen DeVries is a fabulous member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

Hello, lovely friends! Today we’ll be chatting about a topic that hasn’t gotten much airtime yet in the Emily Plans a Wedding series, but that is very close to my heart: our wedding ceremony. Despite my radio silence on the subject, it’s the part of our wedding weekend that I’m most looking forward to, and perhaps the part I’m most anxious about. In fact, I’ve got so much to say about the ceremony that I’ll be discussing it in my next post, too!

But let’s start at the beginning! For those of you who weren’t with us back in September, John and I will be saying our vows at the United States Coast Guard Memorial Chapel, on the grounds of the Coast Guard Academy in New London, CT.

Fingers crossed we get a day just like this!! (Personal photo)

A few reasons why we love the CGA Chapel:

1. The Chapel welcomes visiting clergy, meaning there were very few obstacles to the pastor from our church in North Carolina performing the service.
2. It’s about 15 minutes away from our reception location.
3. My Dad is retired Coast Guard and taught at the Academy for 25+ years, so I have very happy memories associated with the base.
4. It is gorgeous! Love those blue walls and huge windows!

One downside: that tile aisle is treacherously slippery! I’ve been walking around the house wearing my wedding heels to scuff the soles in preparation :)

I’ve mentioned it a couple times, but one thing that was really important to us was that our pastor from our church in North Carolina could perform our ceremony. (Some churches are very strict about who they will allow to lead a service, which means we were even more grateful to have found the CGA!) We have a tremendous amount of respect for our pastor and know he will help strike the joyful, thoughtful, faith-filled tone we’re hoping our service will have. Plus, we can’t wait to hear his message, AND we can’t wait for our Northern friends and family to enjoy his thick Southern accent :) Asking Carl to officiate was one of the first to-dos we checked off our planning list, and one of the best.

We made another big decision when we decided to serve communion at our ceremony. We were a little hesitant about doing this, because we know not all of our guests share our faith, but happily the United Methodist Church offers communion freely to all those who “want Christ in their life,” regardless of religion or denomination, and doesn’t question those who choose not to partake, for whatever reason.

Photo on left by Kurt Boomer via 100 Layer Cake, photo on right by Lisa Lefkowitz via Style Me Pretty

John and I will be serving communion to our guests directly following our vows. We’ll use a silver cup from the church where my grandmother was baptized, and I’m hoping I’ll have a volunteer to bake us some bread! We find it very meaningful and appropriate that our first act as a married couple will be to serve others, and we’re also happy that communion will give us a chance to see each of our guests one by one, since we’re not doing a receiving line and won’t have a seated dinner at our reception.

A favorite classic program design… still trying to figure out what ours will look like! (Photo by J. Cogliandro)

Speaking of vows: We’ll be saying the traditional ones, though perhaps with a few small tweaks. We think making the same vow that our parents and grandparents and their parents did is powerful, especially because we are lucky to have such beautiful examples of marriage in our parents. We’re still discussing exactly what we’ll say, but this is the rough draft:

“I, Emily, take you, John, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, all the days of my life.”

So exciting to think about actually saying those words, no?? I can’t wait!

Another pretty set of programs, this one by Mr. Boddington’s Studio

We’re still discussing whether we’ll also exchange more personal vows at the ceremony in addition to the traditional ones. I’m all for it, while John is not totally on board (he’s a pretty traditional sort, plus he’s afraid he’s going to start bawling, which, I’ll admit, is a distinct possibility, but not really a problem, in my opinion!). Just in case we do go this route, I’ve been storing away ideas in a Google Doc for the past year – no last-minute vow writing for this girl!

I just keep thinking about my friend Katharine’s wedding – she and Kyle exchanged the most meaningful set of “promises” in addition to traditional vows, and it was definitely a highlight of their wedding. When I think about the other wedding ceremonies that have really stuck with me, it’s usually the ones that included some sort of personal words from the couple.

One thing that’s always confused me, though, is how, exactly, the personal vows are created. From my research, it seems like couples do it in a variety of ways. Some decide on a rough format (like Katharine and Kyle’s promises), word length, or length of time to ensure the vows somewhat resemble each other. Others write the personal vows together (like my sister and her husband), and exchange the same set. My thoughts, as of right now? There’s so much that I have painstakingly planned about this wedding, I think it would be a thrill to have at least one part of the day where I don’t know what’s going to happen – and hopefully, I’ll be delightfully surprised. (If not sobbing!)

I’ll be back soon to share more about our readings and music! In the meantime, tell me: What kind of vows did you recite, or what kind are you planning to recite? Traditional? Personal? Both? Please comment and let me know!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters | Where we’re getting married | I go dress shopping | We choose a photographer | I ponder bridesmaid style | Mini food! | The music | We’re renting a tent! | We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres | We send out our save the dates | I gather hair and makeup inspiration | We talk cake and sweets | I introduce you to our videographer | We create a registry | We buy a tuxedo | We style a reception | I choose accessories | We take engagement photos!

Hello, belles! Life has been extremely busy in the Southern Weddings office lately – all good things, of course, but still busy! So busy, in fact, that I decided to postpone my usual Emily Plans a Wedding post until this week so I could make sure I had enough time to do it justice. And I’m glad I did, because this week is extra exciting – I’m sharing our engagement photos!!

Once we set a date with the wonderful Gina Zeidler, my first order of business was to round up some inspiration images, to give her an idea of the style of engagement photos we liked. Here are a few of the ones I collected:

Inspiration from top to bottom: top two by A Bryan Photo, Nancy Ray, Abby Jiu, Gina Zeidler, and A Bryan Photo

Once I had my inspiration in front of me, it was easy to see I liked natural light; cleanly-processed images; close, natural poses; lots of smiling; and simple, softly-colored outfits, possibly with some pattern. Got it! I sent my favorites off to Gina so we were on the same page, and then John and I turned our attention to choosing a location.

We had a really hard time with this one! We didn’t grow up in the area, so we didn’t have any super-meaningful locations from our seven years of dating that immediately jumped to mind. Since we generally liked close-up shots with the couple as the focus, we didn’t really want a location that would steal the show or be a big presence in the photos. Also, we wanted somewhere fairly private, since neither of us is a big fan of public displays of affection :)

After tossing out lots of suggestions, we finally arrived at the art park at the North Carolina Museum of Art. It’s generally sparsely populated, has a great mix of natural and man-made locations (including some tall grass fields, which I really wanted!), and is somewhere we love to walk and take out-of-town guests. Done and done!

Next, we had to choose our outfits. This was the one I was expecting to be difficult, but it turned out to be pretty easy! We each laid out a few options, and since John chose his final picks before I did, I made sure mine coordinated with his. A few tips:

1. For photos that really represent you, wear outfits that you would really wear in your every day life. If you’re not “dress up people,” don’t dress up! On the other hand, if you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing jeans, by all means, go glam.
2. Aim to coordinate, but not match. Go for a mix of solids and patterns, and make sure the color and style of your clothing will fit in well with the location you’ve picked out for your photos.
3. Wear something you’re comfortable in! Good engagement photos (in my opinion) involve a lot of sitting on the ground or on potentially dirty surfaces, walking, running, twisting, hugging, etc. Don’t wear something you’re constantly having to readjust, or something you’re afraid to get a speck of dirt on. Also, don’t forget to wear bugspray, if applicable! Not that glamorous, I know, but you won’t be able to smell it in the final images :)

So outfits: check.

We completely lucked out with our day – bright and sunny, though perhaps a bit hot. We met up with Gina, and set off on our photo adventure! I had already met her, but this was John’s first time, so she took care to get to know him and put him at ease, which really helped. Funny story: Before our shoot, John was not really feeling the whole engagement-session thing, but was going along to be a good sport. Turns out he had the best time! He loved Gina, and was super enthusiastic about the whole experience. I think it definitely helped to set him at ease for our wedding day photos, too.

Enough talk – more pictures! Here are a few of our favorites from the extremely talented Gina Zeidler:

Needless to say, we think Gina did an amazing job and are so, so, SO happy with the way these turned out. We love you, Gina!!

What do you think, y’all? It would make me so happy if you commented with which one is your favorite :)

Up next: Thoughts on our wedding ceremony!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters
Where we’re getting married
I go dress shopping
We choose a photographer
I ponder bridesmaid style
Mini food!
The music
We’re renting a tent!
We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres
We send out our save the dates
I gather hair and makeup inspiration
We talk cake and sweets
I introduce you to our videographer
We create a registry
We buy a tuxedo
We style a reception
I choose accessories

Nancy Ray is a fabulous member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

One thing we haven’t discussed yet in the “Emily Plans a Wedding” series is our honeymoon! That’s kind of surprising, actually, because as travel bugs, John and I love to discuss our next trip, and our honeymoon is kind of an exciting one :)

We’re actually going to be taking a minimoon directly following our wedding – we’ll drive back down South from Connecticut, stopping in Washington, DC, Charlottesville, VA, and Lynchburg, VA along the way. For our big adventure, we’re thinking a longer stay in France in June of next year. Oh la la!

Of course, just because we’ve already mapped out our trips doesn’t mean we’ve stopped daydreaming, and today’s sponsor, Wanderable, is the perfect accomplice. I love that Wanderable, a honeymoon registry, is also an online community where you can discover new places and experiences, and be inspired by the trips other members are planning (or dreaming about!).

If you have all the household goods you could ever want, registering for experiences instead of just accumulating more stuff is a fantastic option. A honeymoon registry works just like a traditional registry, except guests can gift you a horseback ride in the Texas backcountry, a fly fishing lesson in Montana, or breakfast in bed at a boutique hotel in Paris… instead of more plates. Yes, please!

If you’re ready to sign up, you can go with the free registry option (ad-free, too!), or you can upgrade and choose one of 28 designer themes with customizable colors. Whichever you choose, rest assured that the design will be simple and beautiful.

Tell me: If you were registering for a honeymoon on Wanderable, what would you register for? I’m dying to stay at Blackberry Farm or Paws Up, so one of those would be at the top of my list :)

With about four months to go before our wedding day (whoo!), we’ve definitely moved from putting the big blocks in place to finalizing the smaller details, and I couldn’t be more excited! One such smaller detail I’ve been thinking about? My accessories! We’ve already discussed hair and makeup, but today I’d love to tell you about the pretty pieces that will complete the look.

To start with, let me just say that my accessories are bringing the “borrowed” in “something old, new, borrowed, and blue.” And I kind of love it! Of course I appreciate the cost savings that come with borrowing instead of buying, but I also love the sentiment of carrying my loved ones down the aisle with me.

One accessory that I will not be borrowing? My shoes! I debated long and hard over colored v. white, but in the end, white won out. After all, my favorite shoes have always been white ones – this Christian Louboutin pair in particular:

Both by Jose Villa

Since CL is out of my budget, internet searches for something similar brought me to the Nina site, and I quickly fell in love with a shoe called the Paladin. It had a fairly low heel (2.5 inches), was classic and ladylike, and featured a bow. I was in love! I was also devastated to find that when I went back to the Nina site a week later to make my purchase, the Paladin was nowhere to be found!! A call to customer service was not fruitful.

The wedding gods were shining on me, though, because when I tweeted my predicament, the Nordstrom Wedding gals came to my aid, directing me toward 6pm.com. How sweet is that, y’all?! That they would direct me away from their site and toward another just to assist a bride in need? Major kudos to them.

And yes, there was the Paladin, not only in stock and in my size, but 58% off Nina’s price!! My wedding heels cost $37, but I couldn’t love them more if they were $370. Seriously, these beauties make me SO happy. Here they are:

Mi Amore Foto

In case you were wondering, they are insanely comfortable. A 2.5 inch heel is the perfect height, in my opinion!

Okay, enough about shoes, let’s talk jewelry! The top of my gown is fairly involved, so I know I want to keep my jewelry fairly simple. Plus, I wear the same jewelry pretty much every single day: pearl studs, my engagement ring, a thin silver link bracelet, and a Dogeared necklace that was a gift from John for our first Christmas together. If I were to switch it up and wear something chunky or very obvious on our wedding day, the overall effect would be less stunning and more startling, I think. To that end, here’s some of the understated jewelry inspiration I’ve been collecting:

Earrings photo by Cooper Carras, kiss photo by Meg Smith, necklace photo by Charlotte Jenks Lewis via 100 Layer Cake, and up do photo by Heather Kincaid via Style Me Pretty

Short drop or simple cluster earrings and a simple necklace, and that’s it. I might add a bracelet if I’m feeling so moved. The earrings I will probably buy new, and the necklace will probably be my Dogeared one. UNLESS. See that simple gold and diamond number up there? That would be my dream wedding day gift from John :) With its price tag, it’s highly unlikely to happen, but a gal can dream, right? I just love that it’s a fancier version of the necklace I already treasure so much.

For those with a similar style, I put together a little shopping guide:

A. Kenneth Jay Lane CZ cushion cut studs ($49), B. Tiffany Diamonds by the Yard necklace in 18k gold ($615), C. J.Crew Crystal Starlet earrings ($35), D. J.Crew Pearl Jewel Box earrings ($68), E. Kate Ketzal Glow Drop earrings ($70), F. Nina Annabell earrings ($35), G. Kate Ketzal Adorable cushion cut earrings ($55), H. J.Crew Crystal Galaxy earrings ($55), I. Nina Passion earrings ($45), J. Tiffany Pearls by the Yard bracelet in 18k gold ($425), K. Jennifer hair comb, L. Bario-Neal single diamond bracelet ($750)

Now, what will I be wearing on my head? I don’t think I mentioned it in my dress shopping post, but I fell in love with a veil on my very first dress shopping excursion – the “Phoebe” by Sara Gabriel. I thought the horsehair trim was so unique, but still understated! I’ve never been able to get that veil out of my head, though its price tag has stayed firmly out of my budget, so a few weeks ago, I contacted Annette from Chaviano Couture about making a custom piece that involved my beloved horsehair. My future sister-in-law (who, if you remember, is getting married two months before me) and I are actually going to share the veil, and Annette has been great about incorporating both of our ideas. I won’t say too much more, but I am very excited to capture some gorgeous veil photos with Tanja!

Samm Blake via Style Me Pretty and Domenico Costantini via Martha Stewart Weddings

Since our veil is going to be fairly long, and our reception involves a lot of mingling, I’ll probably remove it post-ceremony, or at least post-reception entrance. I’ve been toying with the idea of adding a simple comb, kind of like the below:

Christian Oth and Jillian Mitchell via 100 Layer Cake

A few weeks ago my friend Nancy saw me pinning hair combs left and right, and kindly offered to lend me the one she wore on her wedding day. Score another one for the “borrowed” list!

And to round out my borrowed offerings, I will be toting this lovely clutch from my friend (and former SW editor!) Katharine. This beauty is from Davie & Chiyo for any of y’all who might like to purchase one for yourself!

Photo by Bryan Johnson from Katharine’s wedding

And that about takes care of that! Tell me, belles: How are you accessorizing on your wedding day? Simple and classic, or colorful and bold? Comment and let me know!

Up next: I’ll share our engagement photos!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters
Where we’re getting married
I go dress shopping
We choose a photographer
I ponder bridesmaid style
Mini food!
The music
We’re renting a tent!
We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres
We send out our save the dates
I gather hair and makeup inspiration
We talk cake and sweets
I introduce you to our videographer
We create a registry
We buy a tuxedo
We style a reception

Mi Amore Foto, Jose Villa, and Nancy Ray are fabulous members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!